Whaddya wanna be?
Explain to me again why we’re doin’ this.
Ah - because it’s - fun!
Look - if there isn’t a place for the runoff from the rains to go - all the crops in the valley will be destroyed.
I know.
You do?
You know? If Thanis spent more time farming instead of sculpting, he wouldn’t have this problem.
- Ah, he’s an artist. - So?
- You know how they are. - No?
Come on, how can I help you unless you help me?
At least there’s a nice view.
Where?
Ah - so you like chickens.
Hercules, Iolaus, I’m sorry. I-I meant to get this to you before now.
It’s not a problem.
Is Daniella gonna come and join us?
I don’t think so. That daughter of mine has been off in her own world, lately.
But I’m sure she’ll - snap out of it, soon.
Ah - how’s your sculpture coming, Thanis?
Ah - it’s only three weeks to the exhibit in Athens, and I’m still waiting for the rock to tell me what it wants to be.
Yeah - yeah, rocks are stubborn that way.
Right. Right.
Say, I have to go into Volos. I thought, uh -
Oh, oh, I’m there.
W-w-wait. Aren’t you gonna stay and help me dig?
Nah. Hercules - thank you - but, uh - no, no, you stay.
Have all the fun. Bye.
Fine.
Great.
Ah - Iolaus, you had to volunteer.
That’s unfair!
Now, listen - you listen to me. I am not paying you extra so you can stuff your greedy face with food!
- food!
- I will walk to the next town - ! - What am I supposed to do?!
- before I come back and do business with you! - Well, go to the next town! I don’t care! I don’t care!
What was all that about?
Ahh - Trilos keeps raising his prices. Greedy fool!
Ahh - forget about him.
I still got a couple ’a things I gotta pick up. I’ll be right back.
Ah - I’m not going anywhere.
That’s mugging!
Thanis?
In broad daylight!
Thanis, no! Don’t!
Thanis, what’s goin’ on, here!
Stop, Thanis! Come back here!
Stand back. Give him some air.
There’s Thanis! He’s the one who did this!
He did it!
What are you babbling about, Bornus? Did what?
Ah, spare us your lies! I saw it!
Why did you do it, Thanis?
Do what?!
You hit me on the head and robbed me, you thief!
I’m no thief! Iolaus, tell ‘em!
But - I saw you do it.
Take him away!
That’s impossible.
Enough talk! It’s time for action!
No, wait!
No! I didn’t do anything! Let me go!
What’re you doing?!
I say we stone the thief!
Yeah!
Don’t, I’m begging you. You people know me. You couldn’t possibly believe I’d do anything like this.
You can’t just kill the man. He deserves a trial!
And what would a trial prove that the eyes haven’t already seen?
Maybe, there’s an explanation. Maybe -
You’re an outsider! You don’t have any idea what’s been goin’ on around here, lately!
One crime after another, and still nobody caught! Until now.
It doesn’t make sense to blame Thanis for everything!
Maybe not - but his punishment will stand as a warning to another thief that comes to Volos.
- No. - Wait a second! What’re you trying to do?!
Get the outsider!
Thanis, you’ve betrayed your neighbors!
What’re ya waiting for?!
And now ya gotta pay for it.
You don’t wanna do that.
Who do you think you are - butting in this way?!
He’s Hercules.
Right - and I’m Jason - leader of the argonauts.
Hey - I know Jason. Believe me, pal, you are no Jason.
If you are who he says who are, big fella - you wouldn’t be standin’ in the way of justice.
Oh, I believe in justice - as long as it’s just. Now, what happened.
He hit me on the head and robbed me!
We may have had our differences, but you know I’m no criminal!
Your friend here was a witness.
Well, that’s true, Hercules. I - I saw the whole thing.
Satisfied? Now, step aside while I rid -
Nobody - is getting stoned while I’m here.
We want justice.
Killing a man for stealing isn’t justice.
Ahh, that’s what you say!
Anyone who wants to take the law into his own hands - is gonna have to go through me.
And me.
All right. But you still haven’t told us what you’re gonna do with him.
You must have a magistrate around here, someplace.
We’ll let him handle this. Any complaints?
No.
Good. Let’s go find him, Thanis.
I’ve been doing business with Trilos for years.
We’ve always argued over his prices. They’re too high, if you ask me.
But I’d never steal.
Guard - take him to his cell.
I need your help. I really do.
We’ll do everything we can. What’s gonna happen to him?
Oh, he won’t be stoned. We’re not barbarians.
Huh - that’s a relief.
We’ll simply chop off his hands.
What?! Just for stealing?
It’s a sign of the times, my friend.
With all the crime we’ve had in Volos lately, we have to make a statement - or else who knows what’ll happen next?
- But, Thanis isn’t a criminal. - Yeah, he’s an artist.
I know. My oldest son posed for one of his sculptures.
But that doesn’t change what people say they saw Thanis do.
He swears he’s innocent.
They all do.
Oh, come on. Ya have to let him tell his side of the story.
I don’t have to do anything!
All right. In the interest of fairness - I’ll delay punishment for 24 hours.
If you two can find absolute proof of his innocence in that time - he’ll be a free man.
If not - I suppose he’ll have to sculpt with his teeth.
What would I be without my hands? I couldn’t sculpt, I couldn’t farm. There’d be no use for me!
We want to help you, Thanis, but you’ve got to help us first.
Just listen to reason. If I’d robbed him, you really think I would’ve shown my face back there?!
I - I know. It doesn’t make any sense. But even Iolaus said he saw you.
I wish I’d been looking the other way.
Where were you during the robbery? Whoever saw you should be willing to speak up.
It’s no use. I went looking for the draper - to buy Daniella a bolt of fabric. But he wasn’t in his shop.
Did anybody see you?
Afraid not. It’s as if the gods are punishing me - and all the other good, decent people in this village.
Be brave, Thanis. We’ll get to the bottom of this.
- Out of the way! - Stone the thief!
- What is going on here? - He’ll be punished!
All this turmoil, and they’re not even at war.
Yeah - so you better - get back to the farm and tell Daniella about her father.
What’re you gonna do?
Ah, I’m gonna go talk to Trilos and see if I can - make any sense of all this.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Thanis is crazy, I tell ya.
What makes you say that?
He kept saying I owe him money for a dozen chickens.
Look around. Do you see any chickens?
Dolmars? They’re fresh. The wife made them this morning.
Ah, I’m not hungry - thanks.
OK.
Thanis said the two of you - have had your differences in the past.
Yeah. That’s because he’s a cheapskate.
Thinks I should send him those s-sculpture chisels for nothing.
Maybe all artists are like that.
That still doesn’t explain the robbery, or why he came back right after it.
Well, obviously, he’s not much of a thief.
Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of these?
They’re good for what ails ya. Even cured my headache.
That’s OK. My health is fine.
It’s Thanis’ I’m worried about.
Doesn’t make any sense, him robbing me.
Nothing makes any sense in Volos anymore.
Well - thanks for your help.
Daniella?
Ya home?!
Daniella?
Iolaus?
Yeah. Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.
But, um - I-I do have to talk to you.
Well, you found me.
Yeah.
Could you get me my dress?
Wh - uh, yeah. Yeah.
You don’t have to be embarrassed. Just - bring it to me.
OK.
Here you are.
Thank you.
You can let go anytime you want.
Uh, yeah - sorry.
Were you spying on me?
No, Daniella! I’m not that kind of guy. Even though I - I am crazy about you.
Well, then, why are you here?
Uh - well - there’s been some trouble with your father.
He, uh - he stole from a merchant - a-a guy named - Trilos?
And, uh - he’s in prison.
My father would never do something like that.
Daniella, I saw the whole thing.
It wasn’t my father.
Well, um -
I can tell your future.
Uh - thanks, but I’d - rather be surprised.
The great Hercules isn’t a believer? But you will be - you will be -
Do I know you?
That’s not the question. The question is - do I know you? And I do, son of Alcmene.
If - you’ve got something to say to me, say it now.
Leave Volos. There’s nothing here for you but misery.
Well, you know what they say - misery loves company.
You act as if this is a joke!
Then tell me more.
There’s nothing more to say when tragedy is in the air.
If you told me a little more about the crimes around here, maybe I could help.
I told you what I’m going to do.
Talk to Hercules, right.
He - I think you’re forgetting that he and I fought side by side - you know - I mean, we’v been up against some pretty -
Iolaus? I’m not in the mood to be impressed.
Sorry.
They haven’t cut off my father’s hands yet, have they?
How did you - ?
I saw it once when I was a little girl.
Tell me about my father.
The magistrate gave us 24 hours to prove his innocence.
- Then there’s still time. - Yeah.
My father gave this to the village.
It was the first sculpture he ever displayed in public.
You should’ve seen the look on his face when he realized that he could touch people with his art.
How could anyone think that the hands that created this belong to a thief?
Iolaus! We’ve got trouble! Come on!
Uh - I gotta go.
What’s goin’ on?!
- Uh, I’ll tell ya when I find out. - Come on!
Uh. Don’t worry! I’ll bring Hercules back for you.
Melons! Two for a dinar!
Iolaus! This way!
Where are we going?!
That’s OK - w-we can talk later.
Keep it short - all right?
I promise I won’t let them hurt you. I promise I won’t.
Oh-h-h-h-h-h don’t cry, Daniella. No, no, you’ve gotta be strong.
But, this is my fault.
No - no, no. That’s not true.
There are so many things that I wanna tell you - and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to.
All that matters to me is your love.
I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry.
No need for you to apologize -
It wasn’t you who robbed Trilos.
What are you doing here, Bornus?
You could say I came to see you. But, uh - that never seemed to interest you much.
Leave her alone!
Tell me what’s on your mind.
You’re not gonna like it, Thanis. I volunteered to carry out your punishment.
Animal!
Whoa! Calm down, my sweet!
Bornus, don’t you hurt her!
What kind of man are you, anyway?!
Volunteering to maim someone - who’s trying to bring beauty to this village!
Someone who’s no more guilty than you are.
That’s not for me to decide. I just wanna let you know that it’s - nothing personal?
You’re wrong. It’s very personal.
They’re very fresh, sir.
Would you like - like some melons, sir? I - have them -
This is ridiculous.
- playing games when we should be tryin’ to save Thanis from the world’s worst manicure.
Hercules! Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Hercules - you startled me.
I’m sorry.
Did Iolaus catch up with you?
Yes, he asked me to look after you.
I was afraid that something terrible happened.
What’s wrong?
I’ve been such a fool. I didn’t think it would come to this.
Come to what?
You’re in danger.
No. Now why would I - be in danger? I know exactly how to solve the problems here.
You do.
Yes, of course. You forget - I am a god.
And you have nothing - to worry about - absolutely nothing.
Your father will be fine. You have my word.
Iolaus, there you are. Now, I’ve been looking all over for you?
I don’t think so.
Did I - miss something?
Nope - everything’s just swell.
You don’t - sound like it is.
Look - I saw you. OK?
Saw me what?
You really want me to say this. I saw you - kissing Daniella.
Iolaus. I-I’ve never kissed her.
I mean, I haven’t seen her since I left Thanis’ farm this morning.
Hey, don’t lie to me.
What?
I said, ‘Don’t lie to me!’
Now, why would I lie to you?!
I can’t imagine what’s goin’ on in your head.
What - ? Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?
Neither do I.
What - is going on?
Iolaus.
Come on, Iolaus, let’s talk about this!
Are you - out - of your mind?!
If this is about Daniella, you’re making a big - mistake.
Iolaus - I am just about out of patience.
No more.
- Hercules! - Iolaus.
You all right?
Y-y-y-y-yeah - now that I know that wasn’t you I was fighting, I’m - I’m fine.
Ooh - that hurt?
Sorry.
I could’ve sworn that was you kissing Daniella.
I tried to tell you.
Well, I’m sorry. My - my hearing’s not too good when jealousy plugs up my ears.
It was Proteus.
Proteus? You mean - the god who changes shapes?
The one and only. I knew him when we were kids.
All the gods used to tease him mercilessly, and I went right along with them.
Why?
Because he was - I don’t know - funny-looking.
Well, doesn’t sound like - sum’in’ you’d do.
Yeah, I know. I was young and I didn’t know any better.
We eventually became friends - but then, uh - that was because my mother taught me I shouldn’t ridicule anybone simply because they’re different than me.
Thanks.
Well, you know? When I saw him - I thought he looked - incredibly handsome.
Well, don’t be too flattered.
He can assume the shape of any living form. That’s the way he’s always survived.
So - if he’s your friend - why does he wanna hurtcha?
I have no idea, but I am gonna find out.
- Here - there ya go. - Thanks.
You know? For a while there - it seemed like our fight about Xena all over again.
Yeah, only this time, it wasn’t me.
Oh, I’m glad.
Well, you should be. It’s the only reason you had a chance.
Oh, I’m sorry. Does that hurt?
How didja know it was Proteus and not Hercules who - ?
- was kissing me? Because it was like kissing a frog.
It was cold and clammy and - well, I-I just never thought -
- that I would kiss like a frog?
Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence.
Now - why is Proteus causing all these problems in Volos?
It’s my fault. It’s because of me.
He’s a god. What could you have done?
I chased him away when he was spying on me while I was bathing.
It all started about a month ago at the lake.
I had just stepped out of the water and put on my gown - when a handsome young warrior walked up and bowed - like I was royalty.
He said he had seen me and lost his heart.
Did you know it was Proteus?
No, not right away.
But then I saw his reflection in the water, and he wasn’t a warrior at all.
He was a hideous, deformed creature. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me.
Now he’s makin’ Volos pay for the way you rejected him.
No one’s gonna suffer more than my father.
Hercules, his life is his art. If the villagers take that away, he’ll die.
The magistrate’s never gonna believe us - unless we can prove it was Proteus posing as Thanis.
I’ll take care of that.
How?
By - finding Proteus.
Proteus!
Proteus, you chicken!
Is he crazy?!
He’s ruining everything!
Drunken fool!
What’s he up to?!
He’ll pay for this!
Hey! Not-not you, again!
He’s completely -
Have you lost something?
Hey! Ya tear it, ya wear it.
Uh - I guess you don’t carry my size.
Uh - I’ll help you clean up, later.
You betcha will!
There you are.
Look out!
Gotcha!
Now, I’ve had enough of this, Proteus. We have a lot - to talk about.
Excuse me.
Can I have my rooster back?
- He’s yours? - Yeah.
Oh - sorry.
Any sign of Hercules.
I’m afraid not.
You have to have faith in him, Daniella.
I’ve never seen Hercules fail - not when he can get face-to-face with whatever he’s after.
He’s a good man, isn’t he?
Yeah. Yeah, he’s the best.
I want you to know - that no matter what happens today - I feel the same way about you.
I have to go. My father needs me.
Daniella - uh - whatever happens - I ll be by your side - every step of the way.
It’s time, Thanis.
- Already? - I’m afraid so.
Aw-w-w, move it! You certainly didn’t drag your heels when you robbed Trilos!
But my hands! My - my art.
No one cares about those chunks ’a rock except you!
You’re wrong, Bornus. I thought Thanis’ sculptures were beautiful.
- Well, then, how can you - ? - It’s justice!
Trilos -
Well, look who’s here. Come to see Thanis get his just desserts, have ya?
It wasn’t Thanis who robbed you.
I thind you’ve been in the sun too long. Or is this knot on my head an illusion?
Hardly - but it was Proteus who put it there. He took Thanis’ shape.
The god, Proteus.
Yes.
And why would he waste his time in Volos? And what would he possibly want with my money?
You were just a convenient target, Trilos.
He’s angry because he can’t get Daniella to - fall in love with him.
Nice story!
All I want is a favor.
Just ask the magistrate if he’ll delay Thanis’ punishment. He’ll listen to you. You were the victim.
Give me a reason.
To spare an innocent man’s life - and to give me the time to find Proteus.
Nice try, Hercules.
What would it hurt?!
Hercules?
I’m so glad I found you.
Daniella, what’s wrong?
Um - could we, uh - talk somewhere?
Yeah - sure.
Private?
Here. Just catch your breath - tell me what happened.
It’s Iolaus.
He kept trying to kiss me when we were walking here.
And then he went into a rage when I told him - that my heart belonged to someone else - you.
Daniella, I - th-this isn’t right.
Even when Proteus was posing as you, I couldn’t deny what I was feeling.
That’s why I didn’t try to stop you - well, I-I mean him - from kissing me.
Ever since then all I keep thinking about is you.
The feel of your skin against mine. The taste of your lips.
Oh, Hercules - you know we should be together.
You’ve got to do better than that, Proteus.
Let me go!
No! Not until ya tell the people of Volos what you’ve done.
Thanis is going to get what he deserves!
Do you think they’ve started yet?
No - everybody’d be there if they had.
How can they be so vindictive? My father never hurt them.
The smell of blood brings out the worst in people.
I don’t see Hercules.
Daniella - we will save your father. That is, if Hercules hasn’t done it, already.
How?
I’ll think of something. Come on.
- The girl is mine! - She doesn’t love you.
Now, what?
I warned you to leave.
This is really weird.
Thanis - you have broken the laws of Volos - and must now receive the appropriate punishment.
As - no evidence to support your innocence has come to light - it is my duty -
Wait! Witt!
Give Daniella a chance to speak.
This better be good!
Go ahead, Daniella.
My father’s innocent.
It was the god, Proteus - who attacked Trilos.
He’s the one causing all the problems here.
That’s the same rubbish Hercules tried to tell me!
Well, I know who robbed me! It was Thanis!
No, no, no - No-o!
You’re wrong.
You’ve gotta have proof, Daniella.
Enough of this nonsense.
Proteus took my father’s place. He deceived everyone - the way he always does.
Go ahead. Laugh.
But Proteus can assume the shape of - any person or anything he wants.
He could be here among you, now. He could be you - or you.
Pay no attention to him! It’s a trick!
He’s playing games with your minds!
That’s right! Thanis must be punished!
No, you can’t!
You’ve gotta have proof, Daniella.
- Ooh, Clytus?! Are you all right? - Yeah.
Here - let me help.
Proteus!
She’s mi-i-i-i-ine!
Bornus - you may carry out the sentence.
Yeah!
It’ll be my honor.
You know nothing about honor!
Stop him!
Come on, you!
Why did you have to come here?! Why-y-y-y-y-y?!
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
All I wanted was to love and be loved in return. Was that too much to ask?
No, but you can’t - you can’t force someone to love you.
How else was I supposed to do it?
Ya have to be who you are, Proteus. That’s all anybody can be.
But, look at me.
That never stopped us - from being friends.
You were my only friend - but now I’ve done so many terrible things.
You’ll probably never want anything to do with me again.
There’s still time left to make amends.
- There is? - Yes, but - we’ve got to get going. Come on.
You’ve got the wrong man!
Please believe us!
I wish I could.
Faint.
- What? - Faint - it’s our only chance.
Bornus.
- Get him! - Hold on to him!
Let’s get this over with!
Begin.
Don’t be in such a rush.
I don’t think my 24 hours are up, yet.
What now?!
You’re punishing the wrong man.
I’m afraid it’s too late for us to consider that.
Even if I have Proteus as proof?
I was the one who attacked Trilos.
Oh, get out of here, shorty! You’re standin’ in the path of justice.
How can we possibly believe that this - pathetic creature - is a god?
Show them, Proteus.
Is that good enough for you?
Or would you rather have him be - the bully - with the sword?
Oh, my -
Bornus - when you pull yourself together - free Thanis, would you?
Guards! Set Daniella and her friend loose.
Daniella.
I can see why Proteus changes shapes.
If I had a dog like that, I’d kill it.
What is wrong with you people? Give him a break.
Proteus came here knowing that you would probably laugh at him!
And yet, he still had the courage to do what was right - and save Thanis.
If you feel like you have to judge him - judge him for that - not the way he looks.
Daniella - I don’t know if I can ever make up for what I’ve done to you - your father - this whole village.
But please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt anyone.
I only wanted to win your heart.
I believe you - and thank you for what you’ve done today.
Would it be all right if I left now?
I’m embarrassed with all these people around.
It’s all right. You can go.
But try to remember that, someday - someone’ll see you for who you really are.
That must’ve been very strange - fighting Proteus.
Yeah - I was beside myself.
Hercules - you’ll be happy to know the rock has made its decision.
I am gonna carve a likeness of you that even Proteus couldn’t match.
Why, thank you, Thanis. I’m flattered.
Well, after everything that you’ve done for us, it’ll be a wonderful way to remember you.
Ah, that’s, uh - nice.
Don’t worry, Iolaus. Father hasn’t forgotten about you.
Oh, really?
Absolutely! I went to the quarry this morning. I found the perfect stone for you.
That’s great. Thanks, Thanis.
Well, if you like it, you oughtta see the rest of it.
That?
Up there.
Look at that, Hercules. It’ll be you and me side by side.
Well, why should it be any different?
Yeah. Hey - do you think we have to worry about pigeons?
Y-you know?!